Quick Hits, Vol. 6

It’s Wednesday, and that means Quick Hits at Cosas Totum. For previous (and if you’re reading this after March10, 2021, future) Quick Hits, click here. If this is your first Quick Hits experience, Quick Hits are short takes on random issues that are generally not linked in any way. These started out as a way for me to help resolve writers’ block, but I enjoyed it so much I decided to keep doing it every week. Enjoy!

Quick Hits

People used horses and buggies as the primary method of transporting materials for literally thousands of years. Then we went from widely available automobiles to landing on the moon in less than 80 years. Nuts.

Do you think people in the early twentieth century grumbled about pointless meetings with “this could have been a telegram”?

If there are civilized societies elsewhere in the universe, it’s likely they have the alien equivalent of really trashy humans. Imagine an alien smoking alien Marlboro Reds, listening to alien Lynyrd Skynyrd in their alien ’78 Firebird on their way to alien 7-Eleven to buy alien Busch Light and alien scratch-off lottery tickets.

In twenty years the Buzzfeed “27 Things You Forgot About Life During the Covid-19 Pandemic” posts are going to be weird for those of us currently living in it.

In 100 years students will likely have a “Meme Culture” section in their social studies textbooks and it will show the evolution from Philosoraptor to Bernie Sanders at the President Biden’s inauguration.

Slow and inattentive drivers likely cause way more accidents than speeders. In what I’m sure is totally unrelated, the only people I consistently see texting and driving tend to be at least 45 years old.

Roman architects and engineers had it rough. Can you imagine having to find the area of a temple by multiplying CXXIV by XCVII, quickly?

ROMAN MATHEMATICS - Numerals & Arithmetic

Most candy bars have a King Sized version. I think they should adopt the whole bed system and have single, double, queen, king, and California king sizes. I don’t have any reason for holding this belief other than it would be funny if Snickers and Sleep Numbers were measured the same way.

Next time someone asks you if you like country music, reply with an enthusiastic, “I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC!” then start humming the national anthems of various countries.

Hogwarts is in Scotland and was over 1,000 years old when Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was set, which was 1991. That means that Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Helga Hufflepuff likely spoke either Scottish Gaelic, Old English, or possibly Norman French. Their language would have been completely unrecognizable to the Hogwarts attendees of the Harry Potter universe.

It still blows my mind that we have had presidents named Millard, Franklin (twice!), Abraham, Chester, Rutherford, Woodrow, Ulysses, Grover, Warren, Lyndon, and Barack but have not had any named Michael, Robert, David, Christopher, Charles, or Matthew. Of course, we also haven’t had a woman be president yet, so the Mikes, Bobs, Daves, Chrisses, Chucks, and Matts don’t have all that much to complain about.

I’ve never seen a pencil that wasn’t a number 2 pencil, but standardized testing has taught me to fear all other pencils.

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