That’s right, folks. May 14 is apparently National Dance Like a Chicken Today. Normally I wouldn’t address such a stupid excuse for a day, but then again, I have Czech heritage and love Arrested Development, so today is right up my alley.
Czech Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
Ah, the “Chicken Dance.” For one thing, it’s not even actually Czech. The guy who wrote the song, Werner Thomas, played accordion in restaurants around Davos, Switzerland, and he wrote the song at some point during his time there. However, it is definitely polka song, and polka music was invented by a Czechoslovakian, so I suppose we’ll just let it slide.
Now, in case you’re not a white person who’s drunk at a wedding or an elementary school student on a sports arena Jumbotron, here’s a little instruction on how to do the dance:
Pretty kickass, right? Oh yeah. They say that Michael Jackson, talented though he was, never could figure the arm-flapping part out. Okay, no one has ever said that, but still.
But there is a question of whether this is how a chicken would dance. After all, today is National Dance Like a Chicken Day, not National Chicken Dance Day. For dancing like a chicken, we have to consult the experts.
Next Time on Arrested Development…
Holy crap, I watched it twice and I’m still laughing. Credit where credit is due, Lucille’s is the closest thing to accepted chicken canon because she almost says “cockadoodaloo.” But the question is, are the Bluths dancing like chickens? If so, they may have the right take on Dance Like a Chicken Day. And even if it’s not really dancing like a chicken, is it more so than the “Chicken Dance” dance? Perhaps that debate is too nuanced to have on the Internet, where facts, opinions, logic, and reasoning are held in the highest regard.
Oh, wait, that’s not right, is it? People on the Internet don’t care about that stuff when they’re arguing. They just insult each other until someone calls the other a racist and then it really gets fun to troll the comments section. Okay, then. I’ll just say it: Lucille Bluth’s dance is the most like a chicken out of everything included in this article.
Yikes. Starting to feel like we’re running low on material, isn’t it? Be that as it may, today is truly a foolish day. It doesn’t make sense to have an entire day devoted to dancing like a chicken. And it really doesn’t make sense to talk about it as incessantly as I have. But then again, it’s my website, so my rules, huh?
Have a great Friday, and if you insult someone by calling them a chicken today, at least have the decency to do a dance.