I’m Sorry, Texas Rangers

Look, y’all, I feel really bad. On May 6, I posted an article entitled “Are the Texas Rangers the Best Team in the AL West?” At the time the Rangers had been on a good-play streak and had won their series with the Red Sox and would go on to win their series against the Minnesota Twins that very evening. They looked good and even the games they lost were fun to watch.

However, since May 6 the Rangers are 4-10, have been shut out twice, have only scored more than 5 runs once, and have in fact been no-hit by the Yankees. They aren’t winning and they aren’t looking particularly good losing, either. Joey Gallo provided some comic relief the other day when he faceplanted rounding first, but other than that these games have been hard to watch lately.

And I feel bad. I feel like by talking about how much fun they had been to watch lately, I might have put some bad juju on them. Since Pedro Cerrano is fake and my Catholic upbringing won’t allow me to make sacrifices to Jobu, the only thing I can do is apologize to the team for possibly being the source of the jinx that they have clearly been playing under the past couple weeks.

Jobu GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

As an aside, maybe everyone already knows this, but the guy who played Pedro Cerrano in Major League is also the Allstate Insurance spokesman, a/k/a the “You’re in good hands” guy. Crazy, right?

Pedro Cerrano

Anyhow. I’m very sorry, Texas Rangers. I had no intention of hurting you, and the fact that I have weighs heavily on my heart and in my mind. If I could go back and undo what I did, I would. But because I can’t, I can only offer my sincerest apologies and strenuously wish for brighter days ahead. Thank you for sticking with me after this.

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