Quick Hits, Vol. 19

Good morning, everyone! It’s Wednesday, June 2, 2021, and that means it’s time for another installment of Quick Hits! For the full Quick Hits archive, click here.

Quick Hits

Memorial Day made yesterday feel like Monday when it was in fact a Tuesday, but today feels like Thursday when it is in fact Wednesday. The human brain and it’s perception of time is pretty messed up sometimes.

Silk Paisley Boxers - Derek Rose

I believe that most of us have one pair of underwear that signals we’re running low on laundry. Mine are red paisley boxers (not pictured; these are just from a Google search). When I get to the red paisley boxers, I know I need to do laundry that day or else I’m gonna have some difficult decisions to make the next morning.

Can you imagine if people broadcasted you doing your job and had a play-by-play guy and a color commentator like it was a sporting event? I supposed if someone can make something boring like darts or cornhole or soccer interesting to watch, then they could make data entry exciting, too. But still, having to listen to Kenny Albert give a running analysis of whatever you happened to be doing at the moment would get old quick.

Are coffee beans the only ones we’ve tried roasting, grinding, and brewing into a beverage? I’m interested to know if there are more tasty bean juices out there. Probably not, you know, l like pinto beans or lima beans or whatever. But surely there’s something else out there.

Michael Jordan GIFs | Tenor

When I was young I would watch Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant or someone like that do some crazy acrobatic dunk and think “wow, that’s impressive.” But the older I get I’m more likely to watch a 60-year old coach hope up really quick from their seat and I’ll think “wow, that’s pretty impressive. I hope I’m that athletic at 60.” My #LifeGoals are evolving.

Do people ever go back and read guest books for events they had? My wife and I have not looked at our guest book since the night we got married. I hope others go back and look at guest books, though. Especially those at hotels, cabins, resorts, etc. because I bet there is some pretty funny stuff in there somewhere.

Yardwork becomes less of a chore and more of an act of meditation as you get older.

You know how in college there always someone who would show up to a party with a guitar? Like, they didn’t find a guitar at the house where the party was. They brought their own guitar from home. That should be a crime called “conspiracy to commit douchbaggery.” It’s a big, loud party. No one wants to here you fumble through “Ants Marching” and talk about how underrated The Mars Volta is.

For three years I lived in Lubbock, Texas, way out west in the southern part of the pandhandle. One thing I miss about Lubbock was on Friday nights in the autumn, some classmates and I would drive out to these little bitty West Texas towns to watch 6-man football games. It was fun because half the time the offensive line was also the percussion section of the marching band, and the cheerleaders were also athletic trainers. Plus, 6-man football has some crazy high scoring games, so you might see something like Sterling City 100, Bronte 92. It’s hilarious. Basketball scores in a football environment. Plus, 6-man is just fun to watch in general:

If you brought someone from even the mid-1800s to a modern American grocery store, they wouldn’t recognize about 90% of the products and would likely be overwhelmed to the point of brief insanity, and I think that’s a sign of an advanced society.

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