Happy Friday, everyone! Normally we do Quick Hits on Wednesdays, but as sometimes happens, we had a bit of a scheduling snafu this week so we are just doing it today. Improvise, adapt, overcome, as they say. For the full archive of Quick Hits, click here.
I bet one really satisfying part of playing professional baseball is getting to absolutely go ham on umpires when they screw up, and your punishment is basically that you leave work early.
Sometimes you hear people say “there’s no time like the present” when explaining that some task should be performed immediately. This is an unnecessary phrase. Of course there’s no time like the present to do things. You obviously can’t do them in the past, and as soon as the moment to do them in the future arrives, the future is no longer the future, but has become the present. It’s more a statement of fact than actual advice, really.
No matter how sad you are, if you say the word “poop” enough times in a row you will absolutely begin to smile.
Some great locations that have a slightly Twilight Zone feel to them: 1) 24-hour grocery stores around 3:00 a.m.; 2) large, empty warehouses; 3) very straight, very flat roads at night; 4) an elementary school (provided you’re not an employee there) after the age of 30; 5) bowling alleys on a weekday afternoon; and 6) websites that haven’t been updated in years.
You’re not a real adult until you start voluntarily going to bed before 10:00 on Saturdays.
Isn’t it such a huge letdown when you go to the store for one specific, common thing and the store is out of it? I went to a hardware store the other day for some Velcro strips and they were out and it really bummed me out. The Walmart next door had the Velcro, but still.
Re-watching early seasons of The Simpsons now, it’s pretty incredible to think that the content of that show used to be highly controversial. It all seems so tame by any objective standards, now. Same thing with old “violent” video games like Goldeneye or even Doom and Duke Nukem.
If I’m outside getting some sun, I will feel healthy no matter what else I’m doing. If I spend a whole day on a beach drinking sugary cocktails and eating resort nachos, when I get back in my room I’ll see a new tinge of brown on my skin and think to myself, “the sun is good for me and I literally could not be healthier right now.” Meanwhile I’m 5 pounds up and will have a cavity or two from all the margaritas.
Another thing about being adult that no one prepares you for is how bummed out you are when you lose a really good pen.
If my home burglar alarm had as many false alarms as my dogs do when they bark at things they think are menacing, we’d return it. But we just tell the dogs “good job, boys, way to scare ’em away” and scratch them between the ears.