Alllllllllright, everyone. Happy Wednesday! It’s time for the twenty-seventh installment of Quick Hits! For the full archives, click here.
Ian Fleming, the author of the James Bond books, didn’t know how to make a martini, which is James Bond’s drink of choice. Something about that is severely depressing. (Quick shoutout to the most underrated Bond, Timothy Dalton!)
If they don’t already make popsicles with alcohol in them, they really should do that. That seems like a great way for an adult to enjoy some alcohol in public.
Remember for like two years when Chuck Norris jokes were everywhere? Why the hell did that happen? Good news, though: I checked and ChuckNorrisFacts.net is still a functioning website. I perused it right before writing this and it brought back a flood of college memories. Insane that we let that be as big as it was.
Speaking of guys who shouldn’t really be in the news anymore, I was thinking about Lance Armstrong the other day (Chuck Norris–>2004’s Dodgeball–>Lance Armstrong, in case anyone was wondering where the logical connection came in). I understand why people were/are mad at him, but even with steroids it’s amazing to me that any human can even complete seven Tours de France (or Tour de Frances?). I’m ready to quit about ten minutes into a workout on a stationary bike, but to ride an actual bike 2,000+ miles a year across real terrain with real obstacles? Absolutely insane.
If you go to a backyard barbecue and don’t inspect the meat as it’s on the smoker, are you even a red-blooded American? Probably not.
I bet our ancestors would be really confused about bottle water. Forget the Internet and television and electricity. Grocery stores and bottled water would really confuse them. Just astonished.
The Swiss army hasn’t fought in a war since 1847. That means that the Swiss army knife probably hasn’t been used by the Swiss army in combat, and that Switzerland is really good at avoiding war. Maybe more folks should follow that model. Make a great tool, don’t go to war. Sounds nice, right?
Sometimes I have very sharp memories of stupid stuff I did in high school or college and I get really grateful that social media wasn’t as big as it is now back then. Sometimes I shudder even thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong, I never hurt anyone or anything like that; just drinking or sneaking into places or pouring laundry detergent in fountains, stuff like that.
If anyone was wondering what the perfect music to work to late at night is, it’s Chet Baker’s 1959 album Chet. Trust me. Next time you have to work late pour yourself a drink and put on that album. You won’t regret it.
Finishing an entire tube of Chap Stick is the most impressive ordinary thing I can think of ever doing.