Quick Hits, Vol. 28

Buenos dias, everyone! It’s Wednesday, and that means it’s time for more Quick Hits! For the full Quick Hits archive, click here!

Quick Hits

I have probably had 5,000 or so business cards in my life from various different jobs, and I don’t think I’ve handed out more than about 20% of them. The rest of them just get recycled when I get a new job.

Because hold music normally reflects the taste of people in their 40s and 50s, I suppose we only have about 25–30 years until Nicki Minaj and Lizzo are playing when you’re on hold with your credit card company. Lord help us. I hate Nicki Minaj’s music so much.

Latest Nicki Minaj GIFs | Gfycat

Folding laundry and emptying the dishwasher are two tasks that everyone hates that take about five minutes and always make you feel accomplished afterwards. What’s with that? Like, psychologically you know you’ll feel better once you put your laundry away, but you still put it off for a while. Weird, right?

They need a regular activities Olympics. Cleaning a house, printing and collating paper, editing a memo, lawncare, applying nail polish, painting a wall, parallel parking, etc. It’d be neat to see which country turns out the best painters, carpenters, and administrative assistants.

See Inside the Wild Housekeeping Olympics Competition in Las Vegas

When you think about it, someone somewhere had to be the first person to ever play music. That’s wild, right? Like, if time travel was possible someone could go find whoever the first ever person to play what we call music and thus find the ancestor to every piece of music that has ever been made.

In many jurisdictions it’s perfectly legal to call random people on the street assholes. It’s weird, but it’s legal.

With the luck I have, if I survived some otherwise apocalyptic event, I’d probably die from a papercut getting infected later on.

Doorbell GIFs | Tenor

Pro tip: Put a nonfunctioning doorbell on your front door so salesman ring and ring and ring but you never know they’re there. I’ve done that and it has really cut down on the number of salesman from Spectrum that I’ve had to tell to leave and never come back.

Karsten Warholm set a new world record in the men’s 400 meter hurdles at 45.94 seconds. Less than forty-six seconds to go 1/4 of a mile while jumping over hurdles. I doubt I could run 1/4 mile, without going over hurdles, in less than twice that amount. Just more proof that those Olympians are peak human physicality. Unreal.

This last one isn’t even a Quick Hit, it’s just a video of Bill Maher making some really good points about woke culture and how it’s getting out of hand. For the record, I believe it’s important to minimize oppression and give everyone an opportunity to thrive in this world. But things have gotten crazy:

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