What’s up, everyone? It’s Wednesday, August 11, 2021, and that means it’s time for this week’s installment of Quick Hits! For the full Quick Hits archive, click here. Now, without further ado…
I checked my horoscope and it said I would take bad advice from a newspaper today.
Sandwiches always taste better when someone else makes it for you.
Have you ever watched a show that was made in a different English-speaking country like England or Scotland and needed subtitles? Isn’t that bizarre? How can it be that we speak the same language as someone in Edinburgh, Cardiff, Newcastle, Kilkenny, and Canberra, but sometimes we can’t understand it when it’s spoken.
One of the worst parts of having an office job is having to send follow up emails to people. No matter how passive and innocent, it always feels aggressive sending a follow up email. Mine keep getting longer and longer because I spend a whole paragraph saying I’m not upset, angry, frustrated, or anything like that, but just wanted to check in and see if there was anything else I could do to get you to take the action I need you to take before I can do my job. See? even that sentence came off aggressive.
Today is also National Presidential Joke day. Of course when, like me, you don’t like either major political party, every president has been a joke. But I’ll go ahead and celebrate with one of my own: Abraham Lincoln’s ending was shot before a live studio audience.
Because so many plants and animals have evolved to give off different smells in different situations, if you could travel back in time to before humans existed, the world might have smelled much, much different that it does in even sparsely populated areas today.
If you see a car with a presidential bumper sticker from more than one election ago, the person who owns that car is almost assuredly an asshole. Regardless of party, mind you. Clinton, Bush, Obama, 2016 Trump. . . if you have one of those bumper stickers, go ahead and remove it because it’s making you look like a dick.
It will be interesting to see what domestic pets will be in the future. You know? Like, maybe in 250 years birds will be more popular, foxes will have been fully domesticated, and those creepy furless cats will be extinct.
True adulthood really hits you in the face when you realize you can’t eat anything within a few hours before bed or you’ll end up with heartburn. I keep Tums by my bed just in case I ever break my own rule.
In ten years people will find masks and small bottles of hand sanitizer in weird places as they pack up their house or office or whatever and there will be a flood of Covid memories. I’m looking forward to the day when we can look back on this time and have mostly faint memories of the happenings.