Quick Hits, Vol. 30

Hey, hey, everyone! It’s great to be back! I missed last week due to an injury, but I’m back now and it’s time to get back to our regularly scheduled Quick Hits! For the full Quick Hits archive, click here.

Quick Hits

If I was supreme leader of the world, my first act would be to make it illegal to have car sounds play in commercials on the radio. I heard a commercial (ironically for auto insurance) in my car the other day that began with a very loud skid, honk, and crash. I thought I was about to die on I-30 heading home from a Rangers game. Instead it was just someone telling me I was in good hands or had seen a thing or two or that a fifteen minute phone call could have saved me 15% on my premiums.

“He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?” You know what, Avril? Yes, you could.

We Need To Talk About The Poor Girl Avril Lavigne Disses In 'Sk8er Boi'

The fact that liquor stores have rewards programs is pretty awesome. When I turned 21 that was the first thing I did. I signed up for a rewards account at Spec’s and that felt so much more adult than legally buying some booze while I was in there.

Here’s a great rule of thumb for food: When in doubt, put it on bread and try it that way. Tortillas, sandwich bread, naan, pita, whatever. Obviously this doesn’t apply to soups and other mostly liquid foodstuffs.

Why is standup comedy called standup comedy? It just seems lazy. You’d think they could have come up with something that sounds a little more official like “comedy monologuing” or “narrative comedy” or something besides “standup.”

Jerry Seinfeld GIFs | Tenor

All the kids who just kept loose gum in their pockets in school are in jail now.

I know this gets brought up by others regularly, but it’s absolutely insane that buses in general and school buses in particular don’t have seatbelts. I know the odds of a car accident involving a bus of any sort are low, but still. Buncha kids on a school bus? Seems like it would be best to be safe.

Top 30 Monster Trucks GIFs | Find the best GIF on Gfycat

If you were unarmed but you would be fighting in the animal’s natural habitat, what is the largest animal you think you could beat in a 10 v. 1 fight? In other words, what’s the biggest animal you think you could beat ten of in a fight? I’m a complete pansy so it would probably be bunny rabbits or some small, mostly harmless thing like that.

I think one of the things that makes pistachios so delicious is that you have to earn it. Nothing will make you appreciate a meal like almost breaking into a sweat just trying to access the edible parts of whatever you’re eating. Also, remember when Psy the “Gangnam Style” guy was in a pistachio commercial? Me neither.

I just ate like a pound of pistachios - The Something Awful Forums

I’m worried that whenever everything opens all the way back up again that I will have forgotten how to interact with people at the businesses I haven’t been going to for the last 18 months. It’ll be fun trying to re-learn how to order at Chipotle.

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