Why do we need so many cups*? They’re everywhere in my house. On our countertops, in our cabinets, in our car. I think if I threw away a cup every day from our home nobody would notice for about a month or more and I’m serious. And I don’t think I’m alone.
When I was young, we had two sets of cups: glass and plastic. The glass cups would almost never be used and the plastic ones would be worn down until we could barely make out that it must’ve been a souvenir cup we took home from a Rangers game. Though it was hard to tell if it was more of a Rangers or Dr. Pepper promo at that point.
We live in an era of opulence, to be sure, but this has always been the goal of the human race over time (Try to collect as much cool stuff as you can before you die) but recently the trend of personalizing that opulence has led us to trick up everything. Cars, shirts, hats, coffee mugs and cups. None of those things are immune to it yet the biggest head scratcher of them all from that nonexhaustive list is cups. Cups, cups, cups everywhere cups. And if we’re going to have a ton of cups then we need to have a message on them, a picture, or your initials. I think 98% of the suburb population has at least one cup in their house with someone’s initials on it. Like they’re issued it (I hope someone picked up that Wayne’s World reference) and my house is not above this trend. We have cups everywhere and for every occasion and we have backups for the first string cups.
And I think the two things to blame for this are women and Costco. We all have women in our lives (or we are one) and we all have Costco within a 5 mile radius of our homes, right? Isn’t that how the rest of the world lives as well?
Costco is nice. I owe Costco for a lot of the convenient joys I have in my life but with those joys comes backup stock and with backup stock comes a king’s ransom worth of cups. Do I need a cup to keep things cool? I’ve got 5 knock-off Yetis that will do the trick. Do I need something to keep things either cold or hot but skinnier than a fake Yeti? Check. What about cups for my kids? Well, it depends on if I’m looking for one that has an easy to open lid, a sizable one for a Saturday soccer game under the hot Texas heat or one that they take to friends’ houses that have been decorated in stickers. A cup for *literally* every occasion.
But there’s nothing I can do and nor should I. They’re just cups. Just something I’ve observed and I doubt I’m the only one annoyed at this trend but powerless to do anything about it.
But I think if you took one of Marty McFly’s Irish relatives from Back to the Future 3 and plopped him in my house, he’d be amazed at the luxuries a middle-class man could acquire in suburban Texas but the one thing he’d be most blown away by is how thirsty my family must get.
*For the purpose of this piece and for the sake of my argument, a cup can be a bottle as well.