Quick Hits, Vol. 35

Good and happy Wednesday, everyone! It’s Quick Hits day! For the full Quick Hits archive, click here.

Quick Hits

Growing up is identifying more and more with Peter from Office Space, and really, really wanting to destroy a printer/piece of office technology with a baseball bat.

Office Space Printer GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Nine out of ten doctors agree that it’s weird that four out of five dentists recommend Trident.

Do you ever catch yourself having a really weird thought? For example, I recently had to wash a blanket that had a lot of colors on it and my first thought was, “I can’t wait to see what the lint trap looks like after this goes through the dryer with all its weird colors.” Then I paused for a beat and thought, “that is a very weird thought. I wonder if other people catch themselves having weird thoughts like that.”

Ice Cube never prepared me for what to do when I check myself but still end up wrecking myself.

Check Yo Self Before You Wreck Yo Self GIFs | Tenor

Are futons overachieving couches or underachieving beds?

When I see an article that says something like “100 Beaches to Visit Before You Die,” I always wonder about the point of saying “before you die.” Before you die? Of course you want to visit those places before you die. Not much point in visiting after that. I’m not even sure angels/spirits can get tans and enjoy beach drinks.

In a similar vein, it bothers me when football referees say “Prior to the snap, false start, on the offense, number 78” or whatever. That whole sentence is redundant. Obviously a false start happens prior to the snap. You can’t have a false start after the snap. And obviously it’s on the offense because the defense is incapable of committing a false start. The verbiage should be “False start, number 78.”

Best False Start GIFs | Gfycat

Nothing gets a suburban adult more excited than when a new grocery store opens.

It’s funny to think about how loud our world would seem to someone from the 1700s and before. There was no real machinery, there were no cars, there were no trains, there were no airplanes…the only sounds one would regularly hear would be the sounds of construction, animals, or warfare. Admittedly warfare would be loud, but how often did one actually hear cannons or guns unless you were in the military. But my office is about 200 feet from a major highway, I have double-pane glass and am four floors off the ground and the traffic is loud. Some English peasant from the 1300s would think we were being smited.

It’s weird that we have three different words pronounced like “vane”: Vain, vane, and vein. You could have a sentence such as “The vain man checked his reflection in the weather vane, but tripped and fell, cutting his arm and releasing blood from his veins.” It’s weird. No wonder people have difficulty learning English.

Weather Vane GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Happy Wednesday, everyone! Have a great day and an awesome rest of the week.

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