What’s up, Wednesday people? It’s time for the thirty-eighth installment of Cosas Totum’s original series, Quick Hits! For the full Quick Hits archives, click here.
And now, without further delay, may I present volume 38 of…
You ever notice how many standup comedians begin their jokes with “you ever notice”? I know the whole observational comedy thing was and remains huge, but I bet you could put a very long compilation of Jerry Seinfeld, Louis CK, George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Sarah Silverman, Patton Oswalt, and others who engage in observational humor saying “you ever notice” and it would be at least thirty or forty minutes long.
IV score and VII years ago is the same as saying LXXXVII years ago.
Fact: Approximately 96% of all people who read this sentence thought that a true fact was coming.
I don’t like seafood but I absolutely love Goldfish crackers and Swedish Fish gummy candy. I don’t know what to do with this information.
Pancakes are not cooked in cake pans, and that’s why English is the best/worst language of all time.
Strange law: If someone tries to tell you Van Halen was better with Sammy Hagar than with David Lee Roth, it’s legal to punch that person in the face until they change their opinion.
To any of my time traveling friends out there, I think we’re all gonna go for a beer yesterday if you want to join.
Do you think putting animal crackers in soup would actually be good? Would it depend on the soup? If it was something very salty and savory like chicken noodle or beef stew it would be better because the sweetness of the crackers would temper that? Or do you want a sweeter soup that would compliment the crackers like tomato basil or sweet potato? For that matter, why was Shirley Temple putting animal crackers in soup to begin with?
I’m looking forward to when newspapers eventually quit printing actual newspapers and go fully digital so that I can impress young people by saying, “back in my day, the Dallas Morning News was an actual collection of paper, and a young person making $7.25 an hour would go house to house, throwing the newspaper towards the door.” No one will believe it.
Rodney Dangerfield’s golf bag in Caddyshack was pretty cool, but all the stuff on it is not on your smartphone. Insane.
Have a great Wednesday and an awesome rest of the week, everyone!