Quick Hits, Vol. 49

Good morning and happy Wednesday, everyone! It’s the forty-ninth volume of Quick Hits! For the full Quick Hits archive, click here.

And now, here’s something we think you’ll really like:

Quick Hits

I like when college sports teams have ridiculous mascots. The U.C. Santa Cruz Banana Slugs, the University of San Francisco Dons, the Evergreen State Geoducks, etc. I wish more pro teams embraced weird names, but for whatever reason it’s reserved for obscure colleges and minor league baseball teams. But how great would it be for the NBA to get a team called the Santa Fe Dirt Devils or the Milwaukee Cheesemongers or something, right?

UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs T-Shirt | Findd

Pulp Fiction might have the best dialogue of any movie ever made (and one absolutely stellar monologue). But because of the noise it makes when that needle gets slammed into Uma Thurman’s chest, I have a hard time watching it. It’s a shame, too, because in addition to being a generally great movie it has also become meme fodder a little bit.

How is Long John Silver’s still in business? There are three or four Long John Silver’s restaurants within a few miles of my house and I never see anyone there but the restaurants are definitely still open. Are they laundering money for the mob? Or are there really that many people out there who really want some fast food fish?

Sometimes it’s tough to imagine life before I developed a taste for certain things. Coffee, beer, steak, spinach, etc. Like, I can’t imagine waking up and not craving coffee, but I didn’t start drinking coffee until I was 19, so it’s a bit weird. Like I don’t really remember what I used to do first thing in the mornings.

Awful Coffee GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

You know that thing dogs do where they’re walking and they come to a very sudden start, almost start scratching their ears with their back leg, then immediately stand back up and walk like six more inches and stop for good? That’s so weird. Dogs are the best.

One first world problem is when you really want a specific restaurant but you don’t feel like driving and you’re just outside their delivery range. When that happens to me and I start to get weirdly hangry about it, I have to remind myself that there are literally people in England forced to eat beans on toast and it makes me grateful for what I do have.

Speaking of food, doesn’t Chex Mix seem like the kind of thing that was created because someone was drunk, hungry, and indecisive? Like they just found a bunch of the components in their pantry and poured it all into a bowl, hoping for the best, and it turned out to be delicious? It does to me.

The Original Chex® Party Mix Recipe | Land O'Lakes

People on specialty TV networks (ESPN, CNN, etc.) have it so easy. They don’t have to be correct, ever. They just have to be compelling television. Why else would Skip Bayless still have a job? It’s bananas. If I could get paid $10 million a year just to say incorrect stuff, that’d be a dream come true.

I’ve never been on Wheel of Fortune but I would imagine that buzzer sound that indicates an incorrect guess is pretty humiliating.

In lieu of a tenth pithy quip here, I wanted to draw attention to the fact that JAMAICA IS SENDING A BOBSLED TEAM TO THE WINTER OLYMPICS THIS YEAR, SO NOW WE ALL HAVE TO WATCH COOL RUNNINGS AND ROOT FOR THEM!

Happy Wednesday, mon! I hope ya day is very irie.

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