From the Archives: Texans Weren’t Meant for Snow

Originally published February 15, 2021

Editor’s Note: This article is from the so-called “Snowpocalypse” from 2021. The weather forecast for February 2, 2022 called for ice and snow across large portions of Texas. As of this writing we do not know if snow will fall for certain, but we decided to go ahead and post this under the assumption that at least a few Texans would have been stuck in snow and upset about it.

Pictured is my street, and even though it stopped snowing a few hours ago, you’ll notice there aren’t any tire marks. This is because the only thing we Texans fear more than a California transplant becoming governor is snow. Snow sucks. I live in Texas partially for the fact that it doesn’t snow that often. At least if I was still in school I could enjoy making a snowman or something. But I’m a grown man with a job, so now I know snow just sucks.

And since Texas is also experiencing involuntary blackouts to conserve power, I can’t even cook or whatever. So I guess it’s bourbon and reading by natural light.

Anyway. Snow sucks.

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